I love you so much.
I adore every bit and inch of you.
I cherish all the love and concern you gave me.
But now, it seems that all good things must come to an end.
I guess you’ve grown tired of me.
I guess you’ve gotten sick of me.
I guess you’ve had enough of me.
Knowing now where I stand and who I am, I realized now how naïve I’ve been.
Knowing now that I am just a third party, I realized now I am just a stranger.
Knowing now that I am a hindrance and a heavy boulder, I realized now I should walk away.
You think it’s easy for me to love again?
You think it’s easy for me trust again?
Nothing or no one will ever replace you and I do not think after all these, I’ll ever love again.
Doubt my love, doubt my feelings, doubt all and everything about me.
I will never ask you again to love me.
I will never ask you again to hug me.
I will never ask you again for those kisses I yearned.
For now, I will never love again.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Monday, November 07, 2005
27 - 28 October 2005
Thurs - 27 October 2005
He arrived earlier than planned from his business meeting in Jakarta. I welcomed a very angry man at the airport in the evening and the whole taxi ride to the hotel was very quiet. The silence continued in the room and I let off steam when I told him I don’t like it when he’s angry. He tried explaining but being the stubborn me, I refused to accept. Nevertheless, I cooled down soon after and we made love. I missed him so much and will miss him even more when he leaves the next day, back to Europe. I dunno when is the next time we will meet again and my heart aches whenever I think about it.
I was hungry so we went downstairs to a nearby hawker centre where I gorged on Nasi Lemak and Roti John. Man, I was hungry! He was shocked at the amount of food I am consuming. We proceeded for some drinks nearby where I had my usual wine and he had vodka and tonic. It poured heavily and was getting very chilly. The night was joined by some of my friends and we had fun laughing and talking about lotsa stuff. We dropped him off at the hotel and I felt guilty for not staying the night. He had some unfinished business hence I did not want to hinder him (found out the next day he slept at 3am).
That night I was sleepless thinking about him. I love him so much and I want so much to be with him forever. Though impossible, I can’t help but plant that tiniest, littlest hope that a miracle will happen for me to be with him. I have never had someone loves me so much and thought so much about me. I have never felt love this way before and I have never been in love this much before. I am afraid to lose him. I am afraid to be apart from him. I miss every part of him whenever we are apart and I yearn for him every night to lie next to me. He opened up a totally new world in my life and I can’t bear to part with that.
Fri – 28 October 2005
I called him at 0830hrs and he was still sound asleep. I reached the hotel and he was already downstairs waiting for me. He was tired from the late night before. Told him to rest a bit more. Well … instead of resting, we just couldn’t help ourselves and ended up making love. How can I ever resist him? So cute and cuddly … jus a little bit of hug and touchy-touchy, things get outta hand …. Wink
We spent the day at the heartland mall before moving downtown as he had a last minute meeting with his dealer. I was left alone for about an hour and I got myself some stuff. We met again at a coffee joint for tea and the next few hours were spent with more shopping and finally dinner at Borders. He started talking about us and I can’t help myself from being teary. Finally broke down (coincidently, an aunt whom I’ve not talked to for about a year texted me to make peace) and I can’t help but pour out my thoughts to him. Damn! I love him.
We made love for the last time when we reached the room. I dozed off after and woke up to find him all ready for the airport. I can’t bear to let him leave, but I had to appear strong for him. Every time he leaves, my heart shatters into a thousand pieces, it will only mend whenever he returns into my arms. The day will come soon where he will never return and I know then that this broken heart will never be the same again.
He arrived earlier than planned from his business meeting in Jakarta. I welcomed a very angry man at the airport in the evening and the whole taxi ride to the hotel was very quiet. The silence continued in the room and I let off steam when I told him I don’t like it when he’s angry. He tried explaining but being the stubborn me, I refused to accept. Nevertheless, I cooled down soon after and we made love. I missed him so much and will miss him even more when he leaves the next day, back to Europe. I dunno when is the next time we will meet again and my heart aches whenever I think about it.
I was hungry so we went downstairs to a nearby hawker centre where I gorged on Nasi Lemak and Roti John. Man, I was hungry! He was shocked at the amount of food I am consuming. We proceeded for some drinks nearby where I had my usual wine and he had vodka and tonic. It poured heavily and was getting very chilly. The night was joined by some of my friends and we had fun laughing and talking about lotsa stuff. We dropped him off at the hotel and I felt guilty for not staying the night. He had some unfinished business hence I did not want to hinder him (found out the next day he slept at 3am).
That night I was sleepless thinking about him. I love him so much and I want so much to be with him forever. Though impossible, I can’t help but plant that tiniest, littlest hope that a miracle will happen for me to be with him. I have never had someone loves me so much and thought so much about me. I have never felt love this way before and I have never been in love this much before. I am afraid to lose him. I am afraid to be apart from him. I miss every part of him whenever we are apart and I yearn for him every night to lie next to me. He opened up a totally new world in my life and I can’t bear to part with that.
Fri – 28 October 2005
I called him at 0830hrs and he was still sound asleep. I reached the hotel and he was already downstairs waiting for me. He was tired from the late night before. Told him to rest a bit more. Well … instead of resting, we just couldn’t help ourselves and ended up making love. How can I ever resist him? So cute and cuddly … jus a little bit of hug and touchy-touchy, things get outta hand …. Wink
We spent the day at the heartland mall before moving downtown as he had a last minute meeting with his dealer. I was left alone for about an hour and I got myself some stuff. We met again at a coffee joint for tea and the next few hours were spent with more shopping and finally dinner at Borders. He started talking about us and I can’t help myself from being teary. Finally broke down (coincidently, an aunt whom I’ve not talked to for about a year texted me to make peace) and I can’t help but pour out my thoughts to him. Damn! I love him.
We made love for the last time when we reached the room. I dozed off after and woke up to find him all ready for the airport. I can’t bear to let him leave, but I had to appear strong for him. Every time he leaves, my heart shatters into a thousand pieces, it will only mend whenever he returns into my arms. The day will come soon where he will never return and I know then that this broken heart will never be the same again.
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